Ahh... Love

I am 41 years old. I have loved before? I was married for 10 years and thought then that it would last forever that would have been true until the rest of the world interfered. I have been divorced for quite some time now. I decided that I would rather be alone than to be with the wrong person and for years this was how I lived my life with my heart tightly guarded and alone. I put all my energy into my children and paying the bills. I wasn't lonely as I am constantly surrounded by people at home and at work. Still there was a void, a darkened place in my soul that knew it must be shared and enlightened. There have been those who have tried to crack the safe that held my heart. But without releasing my own hurt and disappointment that task was impossible. I had to heal and become whole again before I could share and truly give myself to another. I've reached the other side. It has been a process and a journey all the same. Looking back now I can say I am better because of these experiences but would not ever choose to repeat them. I had been my own captor for all those years imprisoned by fear, hurt and resentment. I am free and that is how I truly feel. With my new found freedom came love. I did not seek it out nor did I chase after it. I was receptive and finally able to recognize what was and had been right before me. Now love literally dines at my table. Really, he's eating a bowl of Cheerios in front of the vase of roses that he thoughtfully brought me yesterday. So when I look at him with awe and affection I know that all that was before him, all the suffering, the struggle and strife was not in vain. It was necessary for my evolution and preparation for this moment, for this great time of my life. I also know that my life can never be the same now. This great love has and will forever change me for the better.

We all have our hearts broken at some point in our lives. But don't give up, don't shut down. Learn from the burn. Keep your hope and know there will be a bright beautiful day coming. I believe there is a reason and a season for everything.
Many Blessings to all.

Destiny

I wasn't sure before if I believed in destiny. When your destiny looks you in the eye, believing becomes knowing. Everything you thought you knew and all you thought you wanted becomes obsolete. You just know. You feel it deep in your gut. Beyond knowing it simply is. I feel as if I have stepped through a doorway. I can not return now to my old way of being, it's impossible. I have no desire to. I have tasted the sweetness and seen the brilliant colors of now. There is no other way. I know what is to be done, it is my destiny.